The Power of Slowing Down and Being Intentional

John: You’re listening to The Present Professional.

Tony: Where we explore the intersections of personal and professional development.

John: To change your experience of life and work with every episode. So tune in, grab your notebook, and let’s go. Let’s go. Welcome to another episode of The Present Professional. Today, we’re here to talk about the power of slowing down. Now, I know on this podcast, we talk a lot about productivity and ways to increase your efficiency, setting goals, moving forward, but there is something to be said about moving forward intentionally and with ease. And this is something that you’ve seen with some of that like king energy or swagger that you could relate it to. But we want to talk about how much power there is in being able to take your time, and being able to be patient, and being able to have the time to reflect on your life, to have the time to pause and see what’s coming at you, so you can make decisions with a clear mind. And I’ll hand it over to Tony to start talking through one of our first concepts here and just give his initial perspective on slowing down.

Tony: Yeah, man, you talked about patience and I think that’s a great place to start with all of it because. When you are rushing, you are kind of seeing or you could be perceived as out of control. And I think that with patience, you’re able to, whatever you’re looking to accomplish, whatever you’re looking to get done, when you add patience to the mix, you can find the right tempo. Because sometimes you do have to go fast. Sometimes you might be meeting a deadline. Sometimes you have to complete stuff in a time frame that is putting that pressure on you, putting that fire under you. But when you add patience to the mix, now you can properly align yourself and know if it is time to speed up, if it is time to slow down. So when we’re talking about slowing down, a lot of times things are not in our control. So we want to go faster. We want to make things happen in less than maybe 24 hours, or we want it to happen right now. But you got to have that patience involved just to appropriately get things done. There’s nothing better than producing a masterpiece Versus just cranking out something just for the sake of getting something done and in order to produce that masterpiece You gotta slow down so that you can have the right perspective and you don’t miss anything and when things start to speed up even with an External deadline like that.

John: How do you remind yourself in the moment? To come back to patience. I feel like it’s an energy on us. I

Tony: Yeah, as you hit it on the head, I was going to say, I think it is energy. I think you can feel it, especially like you mentioned that external deadline. External deadlines put more pressure on you, and then that leads to you internally feeling it. So you have the power to internalize it yourself. If somebody’s putting that pressure on you to get something done, you have to control everything inside of you to either meet the deadline, because it is a high stakes, high pressure situation, or internalize it and say that I’m going to get this done when it makes sense to get it done. And I’m going to do it and complete it in a way that makes sense to do it and complete it. And I think so that takes perspective, though. So you do have to have a sense of perspective in general. And sometimes that takes time to build that up. especially if you have been working or operating in a high-stakes or fast-paced environment. Because what you’ll learn over time, if you haven’t experienced this before, is that every organization, company, business, volunteer project, everybody’s not rushing. Some people are building masterpieces and they are taking their time. But then you have some environments that are rushing. If you never experienced that, then it takes perspective to learn and see that. I work in a lot of environments where it’s community-driven or it’s people-driven or it’s volunteer-driven. It’s basically an organism where everybody has an opinion and everybody has a stake, a seat at the table, or everybody’s a stakeholder. And that requires patience because now you are in a position where you kind of need to hear everybody’s opinion. And even if they’re not asking it, you may have to pull it out of them or say, hey, what do you think? And that’s just the power of being an inclusive leader. I brought that up because that requires patience to ask everybody their opinion and listen and try to figure out a way to incorporate that in the decision that’s being made. And so if you’ve never experienced that, if you’ve only been on the side of maybe things are more transactional, things are more like this or that, a little bit more binary. then you can operate at just a speed of high low. But when you have to incorporate people in the mix, now you got to find the right groove and the right tempo to make sure that you are getting things done in a way that actually makes sense to the project and the people involved as opposed to just meeting a deadline.

John: And I think you brought up something that’s really important about slowing down when it comes to working with other people and taking in the opinions of others to help incorporate them into the overall vision and the decision that you’re going to make or the compromise that is coming together from the group. I’ve been in meetings, I’ve been in project meetings with deadlines where there’s this rushing energy. There’s this, we have to get to the conclusion right now energy, and then it starts to be the folks that are the loudest. or listen to the most, the folks that are the most assertive, the folks that are writing what’s the most assertive person is saying down on the whiteboard. Then everyone starts to converge around this opinion that’s rushing and full of energy as opposed to, Taking a step back and asking some questions around it. Shifting perspective around to different people around the table and even shifting perspective to the people who are going to receive the project, whether it’s a customer, another group within your organization, or even planning for something with your family. It’s like. Taking in the information from all of the different inputs and stakeholders takes patience. It takes that energy of patience, and at the same time, you can ask people to be concise. There is something about slowing down, but being essential because things can also take a long time and be rushed. It’s like the rushing is the energy, but then you’re talking around each other and the compromise takes even longer. Rather than taking your time, taking in the perspectives, making it an objective for everyone to be concise, to be essential with what you’re saying and call people out. You call people out for throwing in fluff into the conversation when you’re trying to come to a conclusion. If you create a psychologically safe environment around the table, around the meeting table, the dinner table, and let people voice their opinion in a safe place, then you can call people out like that. The conversation gets more and more essential. Everyone expresses their feelings, their needs. Everyone expresses their thoughts about the topic at hand. And then you have all the information on the table. And you can come together in a respectful, psychologically safe way to just make the decision and move forward. It’s like everyone around the table has each other’s back, and we’re going to take our time, do right. And if you have something to say about the process, you’re safe to say it. Like that is a project team or a meeting or, you know, even a family that can take things at pace.

Tony: Do you think that in those scenarios of situations where everybody is rushing to make a decision, does it? Does it feel like or would a person be like an outlier or an outcast if they are? Sitting there kind of operating a little slower because they’re processing everything and you know They are operating in that with the power of slowing down, but everybody’s you know rushing to make a decision What happens to those people in those scenarios is their opinion still valid or like what happens? I’ve seen folks

John: be somewhat left in the background, like I mentioned at the beginning, whenever the rushing energy takes over and everyone binds around that, gets it on the whiteboard and starts moving around that topic of energy of someone that’s more assertive. I think that’s where a lot of organizations miss out on a lot of ideas from those folks that are like, well, that idea already took over. I’m going to hang out. They could be moving slow. Just how you can rush and something still take a long time, you can move slow and be assertive and concise and let your opinion be heard. I think that there’s a difference there in moving slow and being left in the background. is either it’s not a psychologically safe place for you to voice the opinion that you’ve been deliberating in your mind and kind of being silent, or you are living in fear and you are afraid of the consequences, afraid of what that might do to your reputation, afraid of failing, afraid of being wrong, afraid of looking stupid. That’s when that’s not slowing down. That’s withdrawing. I think that you can slow down and still step out of the background and let your voice be heard. Sometimes that may be more difficult for people than others. It goes back to the prior episode just talking about that basic trust. and you know, trust that you’ll be okay. Stepping through those fears to let your opinions be heard and I think that is very different for different people. I look at myself in the past, I’ve definitely been one to assert an opinion, always let my opinion be heard. And I was confident that it was based on the information that I took in, that it was valid. And that could be based on just so many years of conditioning and beliefs that it could have been completely false. I’m sure there were opinions that I voiced. And actually, I’ve definitely seen this, where the meeting room looks back at me like, what? I’m like, well, okay, that was a strike. I got two more. That brings up for me, all of these concepts, listeners, come together in certain ways in your professional and personal life. When I said that, the growth mindset came back to me. And it’s understanding that when I swing and miss like that, it’s like, oh, OK. Well, that doesn’t mean I’m a bad person. That was just a poor idea, possibly. Yeah, or maybe an idea that’s not in the right place at fourth or the right time, right? So like having that mentality as well to be able to brush things off can help you step into the conversation and out of fear as well. You know, that’s a great

Tony: point and a great way to explain that from your perspective of going from high energy to like more balanced approach to being in meetings or working with people and kind of using some slowing down techniques. For me it’s always been the opposite and it’s always been the freezing like do I want to even say anything or is what I’m saying making sense or It’s what I’m about to say. Does this even fit? And so I’ve been in meetings early on in my career more than later, but I’ve been in meetings where I just didn’t say anything because I’m like, you know what? They’re already going. They’re already crushing it. They’re already putting everything out there on the whiteboard and kind of they’ve got it figured out. Well, I’m just going to just listen and just wait on someone to call on me or maybe raise my hand if it makes sense. And, you know, I’ve over time just like really had to shift more towards the middle and a lot of times shift towards the way farther in because of the positions I’ve been put in where I have to lead. And I’m like, okay, well, you can’t be sitting back if you are responsible for leading. And I’m a person that likes to get people involved in a meeting. And so tactics that I’ve learned is to instead of Trying to do all the talk and I may set the agenda and then I’m asking the people to get involved Okay, what did you bring? What is you? What are you thinking? You’re quiet or what’s on your mind? You just made a face. What are you thinking? I heard you say mm-hmm So what are you thinking? Like I’m the person that’s asking those kind of questions and then I can still take my more balanced approach and win in the meetings or win in those scenarios instead of trying to be something that I’m not. And so I throw that out there for people, too. If you find yourself more on the quieter side of a meeting or a situation where it’s a group think and you’re there, please, I’m telling you, let your voice be heard. Ask a question. Even if you don’t want to say your opinion for fear of what people are going to say or think about your opinion, ask a powerful question. Because if you said, well, I just got a clarifying question. Can I just ask if this is the right direction that we’re going in? Because we said this earlier, and now we’re saying this. How did we get here? That kind of stuff is so powerful, because then the whole room has to think and say, how did we get here? And then they may say, we’re way off. Thank you for saying that. And now they’ll switch gears and then You can now sit back again and, you know, take your for more slow down approach. But you still have power and validation, even if you are more of a quieter type of person.

John: That is so good. Like through that, like even just hearing you ask that question, you slowed, slowed me down. Now I’m thinking like that slowed the whole room down when you ask that. So it’s, and then everyone gets access to this new level of listening and introspection and be able to reflect again on the direction that the conversation has taken. It’s so powerful. to be able to ask a question like that. Tony, I agree, man. I think you’re a great example of slowing down. I feel like you’re really intentional.

Tony: I try to be.

John: Intentional. I try to be. It’s funny because I feel like you’re really methodical and intentional, But then when you have energy around a topic and you’re going, going, going, you get this like, you know.

Tony: Yeah, for sure. It’s a balance, man. I think about in my lifetime, not even just career, but even high school, I’ve been put in positions where I have to lead, or I have to perform, or I have to be on stage. And it’s like a whole different energy that I have when I’m in those scenarios. But most of the time, I’m thinking, processing, and trying to organize towards specific objectives and just kind of going through life like that. But that’s a great, great point. And I think I’ve definitely mastered slowing down. There is real true power in patience because patience is not a normal human trait. You know, you talked about, you’ve talked about on several of our shows about how we as a people kind of come from a survival state, you know, just naturally, like as human beings, we come from survival. And so we’re constantly thinking about food, shelter, safety. And neither one of those natural states are naturally patient. How can you be patient when you are being chased by a lion? How can you be patient when you’re starving or every day you have to hunt and gather your food? How can you be patient when there’s a potential hurricane or rain coming and you are trying to cover and protect your family? So patience is just not natural. Over time, there’s been just a few different examples in my life where I realized that slowing down is better than rushing. I remember one time in high school, I was talking to a mentor, and I was like, I’m going to show you. I’m going to show you all these things, all these ideas I got. I’m going to make it happen. I’m going to show you all these things. He’s like, you can show me better than you can tell me. In regard, what he was saying is you’re talking about it. but just do it. And I was like, man, that’s real. And then when I realized that even at that young age, I was like, it takes more time to produce it than it does to talk about it. So I’m going to spend my energy in producing things that matter. instead of talking. Flash forward, here we are in 2023, and what is the thing now? It’s social media and it’s content, and it’s like getting the content out, getting the content out. And I’m like, some days I’m like, man, I can’t keep up. I’m busy doing, and I’m sure you feel the same way in some regards, and many other people probably. But I guess I said all that to say that, you know, it’s okay to like master where you feel you operate it and get help where you don’t have where you kind of lack but. You got to choose an operating something and stick to it versus just kind of hovering in the middle. You know, they say I’d rather have you hot or cold and lukewarm and lukewarm is in the middle. Not sure what you want to do. Pick one. I guess I’m on the cold side because I do not mind slowing down, sitting down and drawing out a plan and getting stuff done that way. And it works.

John: And, you know, that that patience I so agree with what you said about it’s just not natural. It’s like natural to, you know, to compete, to, you know, try to get ahead, to be faster, to, you know, to compete for the mate. Like there are so many, like everything like primal, you know, you can, you can see animals like resting. And you look at primitive things, and I think there’s a way to be present, but patient, I think, is a different energy. It’s methodical. It’s intentional. It’s well thought out. And it takes that more evolved, sentient part of the brain, like your, really your frontal lobe, prefrontal cortex, like all of the things that set us apart from a living in our kind of limbic mind or our more primitive part of our brain. It’s more of the survival, fear, stress, reaction, be more in the The part of our brain that makes evaluations that makes the hard decision when the hard decision is the right decision and You know, I think slowing down and being patient is a part of that part of the brain and biologically that part of the brain requires more energy. Your caloric intake is higher when you are operating from that part of your brain. When you are making the tough decision, when you are controlling your impulses, when you are being mindful, it takes more energy even. When I say that, it’s like, Being patient and slowing down, when it’s not natural, it’s not easy. No. It takes work to be in that part of your mind and to look at yourself and notice in your body when that energy comes up of rushing. I think it’s like your awareness is directly linked to you being able to control and be in that part of your mind. So you can view the opinions of others objectively. So you can view the timelines and the external deadlines objectively. and be able to question things as well. And you can make requests, like you can make requests even of, you know, of your boss, of your customers. And, you know, in a sales and business development environment, where I was beforehand, in a lot of times that, you know, customers will impose those on vendors, right? Things like, it’s a do by this deadline, we need the quote by this day. And like, they want you to be rushing around there, they want there to be a competition of rushing to get the best number in the door. It’s a, you know, really a psychological tactic used by, you know, procurement representatives and things. And to be able to slow down in that process and even make a request. Sometimes the requests are answered to extend a deadline. Sometimes it works. And sometimes your boss says no, and that’s okay. And then you work to get it done. And if you don’t make the request based on feeling into if it’s the right amount of time to produce the work that you want to produce, then you’ll never know if you can get the right answer. So I’d say that once you have to slow down in the first place to understand that maybe the deadline’s a little unrealistic, and then be able to step out of that fear base and be able to make a request to extend the deadline or shift the project or add another resource, and your request may be denied, and that’s okay. You made the request. You’ve done what’s within your control at that point.

Tony: And as you were talking about that, it made me think about when you are in a state of slowing down, you don’t have to be afraid to make a decision. That’s two different things. Operating with the power of slowing down does not mean that you have paralysis by analysis. It does not mean that when there’s a decision to be made as an individual, a family member, a leader, or whomever, whatever role you are operating in at the time, you still need to make decisions timely. We’re not talking about the power of taking your to make decisions. We’re talking about the power to slow down, to develop projects and develop your life even over time that provides you the most maximum result. As opposed to like microwave kind of mentality of hurrying up to get things done. You know, there’s a great, it’s great in my opinion. There’s a great movie that I love to compare or think about when you talk about the power slowing down. And I say it’s great in my mind because people probably will rip me for saying that it’s great. But the movie is called In Time. It’s the movie with Justin Timberlake. He’s the star character. And in the movie, it’s really interesting. It’s like a, It’s a futuristic movie. Can’t think of the genre of those right now, but the way the movie is designed. Currency is time. So currency is not money. It’s time. So people have they everybody peaks at like, I don’t know, like 35 or something like that. So nobody’s older than 35 as far as their outward appearance. But they have so much time. that allows them to either live extremely long or extremely short. And so people who are poor would basically die around that kind of maxed out time and they would be doing everything they can working for more time, living for more time, stealing for more time, whatever it was. And so Justin Timberlake was in his character was born in the poor side of the of the community or the city. And Throughout the entire movie, what he’s doing is getting to the richer side. He’s like breaking through things to get there. So anyway, he makes it all the way, or he’s working his way to get to the most wealthy of time people. And when he gets, as he’s getting there, the closer he gets, what he starts to notice is that he’s the only one running. Him and his girlfriend, they’re running and people are looking at them like, like something’s wrong with them and then they realize they have to slow down and walk like slower at the pace of everybody else who is at this certain level of currency or wealth because when you have time You don’t have to run and rush because where are you going when you have the time? So I just was like, it was just like mind blowing to me to see them put that in a movie. And you think about control and you think about leadership and power and all those things. And it’s power in being able to slow your life down, just like that movie example, and walk slower instead of rushing all the time. Because if you, no matter your currency, no matter your money, your status, it’s in the mind, it’s in the thinking. Like if you’re constantly all over the place and rushing and this and that, compare yourself to a great leader that you like or somebody that you like to listen to and see how they operate. And I’m pretty sure most of them are not rushing to make every single decision. A lot of times I, or not even decision, but just to do things. A lot of people I follow, they say that they pretty much operate on a routine basis and they don’t break that cycle. They know what they do every, not every day, but you know, they wake up at a certain time, they operate a certain way, they work out a certain time, they do things just methodically and continuously and over time they get the results that they want. Just think about that and check out that movie if you never heard of In Time with Justin Timberlake. It’ll really put this in perspective.

John: That’s a really interesting concept. I think I’ve seen it before actually. That came out a while ago, no? It’s an old movie. Yeah.

null: Old movie.

John: Anyway, the thing that came up for me when you were bringing that up was how much that we miss going through life sprinting. When you’re sprinting, you get tunnel vision. It’s the way it is, like you are able to see what’s in front of you, the immediate danger. Am I going to step on something? Where am I going? Do I need to slow down to make a turn? And when you’re moving through life at that pace, you don’t get to appreciate where you are. And it’s slowing down allows you to have the perspective to smell the roses, to appreciate the view, to take a moment and appreciate the people around you. And maybe even look back to see where you came from, to reflect and look at, you know, look down the mountain. Like, wow, I’ve really overcome a lot. I really done a lot. Cool. Let me appreciate everyone around me right now. Let me take a look at where I’m at. Because if you never slow down and you’re just rushing for the future to some future, how are you going to be able to enjoy it when you get there? The power of slowing down.

Tony: Gonna be rushing right into the next thing. And, you know, we talked about this before, we talked about off-seasons. I mean, when you brought up sprinting, like, even the greatest sprinters, I’m pretty sure, are also great at stretching. You know what I mean? And so it’s like, you gotta be able to stretch before you take off. Like, just because We’re talking about slowing down and how I’m good at slowing down. That doesn’t mean that I’m not good at sprinting either. If it’s like we got to get something done quickly and right away and we got deadlines, I can operate there too. But the ability to stretch and really get to know your muscles for this sprinting example and really get your stride down, make sure you have the right shoes, having your whole full body Emotion your mind your body and spirit in motion Gives you a competitive advantage And so, you know, I just want to throw that out there too for people that are thinking like, you know Wow, I always have the ability to to slow down with because the environment I mean, well, okay make sure that when you are in the environment when you’re in the lion’s den and that you are the most fully capable individual. You have the full totality, the full package. You have slowed your mind down in a way where maybe you picked up meditation. Maybe you are healthier than you’ve ever been. And so when you’re in those environments, you have the mind and the physical health and then you know the spiritual health of just feeling like you are you know walking down a path of enlightenment to a degree just all those things help too when you’re in those environments and that’s More of where I operate is making sure that my self is is good. So when I’m in whatever role I’m in a scenario I’m there like I’m fully there. I’m not not split. I’m fully present and in whatever decision needs to be made

John: Wow, I think that’s a great way to close this out, is what you said about your mind, body, and spirit in motion, and that not showing up with only a part of yourself. I think that’s the energy of patience, showing up with your whole self, whether things are moving fast or slow, mind, body, and spirit. Thank you guys so much for listening. We appreciate you guys as listeners. And thank you for being a part of the Present Professional community. If you want to interact with us more, we’d love to interact with you through our social media or through the presentprofessionalpodcast.com. So check us out anywhere that you get your podcasts. And please rate us and review us where you’re listening now. Ratings and reviews that really help us move forward and expand and we really appreciate your Insight and just your perspective on well you feel about the podcast So, please go ahead and leave a review interact with us where you can or if you have episode suggestions We’d love to hear from you much. Love my friends until next time