“People leadership primarily focuses on inspiring, guiding, and empowering individuals and teams to reach their full potential”. It goes far beyond solely concentrating on tasks, processes, or individual results. People Leadership truly emphasizes the human element within an organization. So, what potentially holds us back from advancing as people leaders?
For many of the coaching clients I work with, the answers lie between the two very distinct people leadership styles of Nice Leadership and Kind Leadership. Understanding these differences can help us all reflect on our own approaches and foster a more effective and supportive work environment.
What is Nice Leadership?
Nice leadership often stems from a desire to be liked and to avoid conflict. A “nice” leader might prioritize maintaining surface-level harmony, often at the expense of genuine growth or necessary tough conversations.
Some common traits are as follows:
- Avoids difficult conversations: They might shy away from giving constructive feedback or addressing performance issues to prevent discomfort.
- Offers superficial praise: Feedback might be overly positive and generic, even when improvement is needed, to avoid hurting feelings.
- Prioritizes popularity: Decisions can be influenced by a desire to be liked by the team, rather than what’s best for long-term development or organizational goals.
- Can foster mediocrity: By not challenging the team or providing honest assessments, “nice” leadership can inadvertently limit individual and team potential.
What is Kind Leadership?
Kind leadership, on the other hand, is a more courageous and intentional approach. A “kind” leader’s actions are driven by a genuine concern for the well-being and growth of their team members, even if it means having uncomfortable conversations. Kindness isn’t about being “soft”; it’s about being effective with empathy and respect.
Key characteristics include:
- Empathy and understanding: They actively listen and seek to understand their team members’ perspectives and challenges.
- Honest, constructive feedback: They provide specific and actionable feedback, delivered with care, to help individuals improve and develop. This is often referred to as radical candor.
- Clear expectations and accountability: They set clear goals and hold team members accountable, providing direction and a sense of purpose.
- Empowerment and development: Kind leaders invest in their team’s long-term success, offering opportunities for learning, skill-building, and professional growth.
- Builds trust and psychological safety: By being transparent and respectful, they create an environment where team members feel safe to speak up, ask questions, and take calculated risks.
The Core Difference
The fundamental distinction is that nice leadership aims to make people feel good in the moment, while kind leadership is focused on helping people become their best selves in the long run. A kind leader understands that true compassion often involves providing the necessary guidance and sometimes difficult truths needed for their team to thrive.
Where do you operate on the scale between Nice and Kind leadership, and where do you want to be?
Author Bio:
During my 38 years with ExxonMobil Corporation and its heritage companies, I have led and managed organizations and teams across the globe (including living abroad in Singapore from 2000 to 2005). My professional expertise is primarily in the areas of manufacturing, supply chain, sales, marketing, learning and professional development, inclusion and diversity, and culture change. The common thread throughout all of these experiences was a passionate desire to learn from others, to gain an appreciation and respect for the views and beliefs of others, to achieve a common goal, and to help others achieve their full potential. Although I began my “formal” Coaching journey in 2018, through my professional and personal life experiences, I have been developing and honing my coaching skills over the past 40+ years. My approach to coaching is open-minded and flexible to ensure that my connection with my clients is as meaningful and productive for them as possible. My goal is to partner with my clients in a creative, energized, and thought-provoking way. To discover new possibilities, explore practical options, and accelerate effective implementation of go-forward plans.
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In this episode, John Marshall and Cinnie Noble explore how leaders can transform conflict into collaboration by addressing triggers, staying curious, and approaching challenges with kindness and clarity.
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