Navigating Conflict in Life and Work with Conflict Management Expert Cinnie Noble
Conflict is inevitable—but suffering through it doesn’t have to be.
In this enlightening episode of The Present Professional, John and Tony are joined by internationally recognized conflict management expert Cinnie Noble, creator of the CINERGY® model. With over 35 years of experience as a social worker, lawyer, mediator, and coach, Cinnie unpacks the patterns, assumptions, and identity triggers that keep us stuck in the same conflict loops—personally and professionally.
If you’ve ever walked away from a disagreement asking “What just happened?” or “Why did that bother me so much?”, this conversation offers a map to better understand your own conflict habits, break free from reactivity, and develop deeper self-awareness.
Whether you lead a team, a family, or simply want healthier communication in your life, you’ll walk away with tools to pause, reflect, and respond with intention instead of impulse. Cinnie shares how values, needs, and identity intertwine in conflict—and why naming the unsaid is one of the most powerful acts in healing communication.
👉 Plus, get access to a free chapter of her book Conflict Mastery: Questions to Guide You at cinergycoaching.com with the code GetFreeChapter.
Key Themes:
Conflict Is Inevitable, but Suffering Is Optional
Conflict arises in all areas of life, but how we respond to it determines our well-being and relationships.The CINERGY® Model for Conflict Coaching
Cinnie shares her evidence-based model that helps clients unpack conflict triggers, assumptions, and behavioral patterns.Values, Needs, and Identity as Root Drivers of Conflict
Beneath every emotional trigger lies a value that feels threatened, a need that’s unmet, or an identity that’s been challenged.Breaking Conflict Habits Through Self-Awareness
Most people have unconscious conflict patterns. Coaching helps surface and rewire those responses over time.Assumption-Making and the “Not-So-Merry-Go-Round”
Conflict escalates when we act on assumptions. Cinnie’s metaphor helps clients deconstruct conflict cycles and regain perspective.The Power of Naming the Unsaid
Creating a safe space to surface what’s not being said can lead to emotional release and constructive resolution.Practicing New Responses in a Safe Coaching Environment
Conflict competence involves rehearsing new behaviors and responses until they become second nature.The Role of Humor and Grace in Conflict Resolution
Healing doesn’t have to be heavy. Humor, trust, and grace are essential tools in transforming the way we approach conflict.Starting Young: Conflict Education for Children and Families
Teaching conflict resolution early—both in schools and homes—can break intergenerational cycles of poor communication.Peacebuilding One Person at a Time
Transforming the way individuals manage conflict contributes to healthier relationships, workplaces, and communities.
What we discussed:
0:37 Cinnie’s Background and Achievements
1:55 Cinnie’s Journey from Social Work to Conflict Management
4:04 Discovering Mediation and Coaching
6:02 The Importance of Naming the Unsaid in Coaching
7:04 Understanding Triggers and Assumptions in Conflict
9:01 Values, Needs, and Identity in Conflict
11:03 The Role of Assumptions in Conflict
12:54 Addressing the Unsaid in Conflict Management
14:05 Building Trust in Coaching Relationships
16:17 Gaining Perspective in Conflict
18:25 The Not So Merry Go Round of Conflict
20:39 Conflict Habits and Individual Responses
23:03 Insights and Healing in Conflict Management
26:38 Self-Awareness and Ownership in Conflict
28:26 Strategies for Managing Conflict
32:16 The Role of Grace and Humor in Conflict Management
34:47 Conflict Management in Children
38:08 Encouraging Self-Awareness in Conflict
39:07 Resources for Deeper Learning
41:27 Free Chapter Offer from Cinnie Noble
42:07 Final Thoughts and Words of Wisdom
Other ways to connect:
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