Luis Velasquez on Ordinary Resilience and Overcoming Workplace Emotional Manipulation
What if emotional intelligence had a dark side? And what if your workplace “culture” was quietly enabling manipulation in the name of performance?
In this powerful episode of The Present Professional, John and Tony sit down with executive coach and Stanford GSB leadership facilitator Luis Velasquez, who brings a deeply human perspective on resilience, boundaries, and the subtle ways emotional manipulation shows up at work. Drawing from his Harvard Business Review article “Are You Being Emotionally Manipulated at Work?” and his new book Ordinary Resilience, Luis walks us through how to recognize manipulation, how to navigate it without losing your values—and how to come out stronger on the other side.
From surviving a brain tumor to coaching C-suite leaders around the world, Luis’s story of personal reinvention is a lesson in courage, awareness, and persistent self-leadership.
Key Themes:
How to recognize emotional manipulation at work—and what to do about it
The relationship between emotional intelligence, empathy, and vulnerability to manipulation
Why avoidance leads to more pain, not less—and how to “choose your pain” wisely
The difference between reacting and responding, and the power of pausing before you engage
Strategies to set boundaries and protect your energy without compromising your integrity
The three types of mistakes—and why some mistakes are essential for growth
How to take the first bold step in becoming who you want to be, even when fear is loud
This isn’t just an episode—it’s a full-body reminder of what it means to be a Present Professional.
What we discussed:
00:27 Introducing Luis Velasquez
02:10 Luis’s Background and Journey
05:08 Reinventing Yourself
08:24 The Power of Reinvention
10:28 Overcoming Fear and Embracing Challenges
12:52 Serendipity and Making Opportunities Work
14:04 Choosing Your Pain
15:05 Recognizing Emotional Manipulation
18:06 The Dark Side of Emotional Intelligence
20:37 Types of Emotional Manipulation
24:28 Shirking Responsibility and Guilt Tripping
25:34 Creating Alliances to Combat Manipulation
28:24. The Importance of Allies and Advocates
31:00 Recognizing Strategic Emotional Displays
33:00 Trusting Your Gut and Seeking External Perspectives
34:46 Setting Boundaries at Work
37:30 Commitment, Persistence, and Optimism
40:44 Exploring Options Beyond Black and White Thinking
43:56 Addressing Fears and Setting Boundaries
47:06 Preparing for Promotion and Future Self
48:54 Differentiating Types of Mistakes
Other ways to connect:
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