Emotional Intelligence 2.0 - Self-Management
What happens when emotions take the wheel? In this episode of The Present Professional, John and Tony dive into the second pillar of Emotional Intelligence—self-management. Building on the foundation of self-awareness, they explore what it really takes to keep your cool, even when the pressure is on.
John shares a raw, early-career story of losing control in a corporate meeting—and the lessons that shaped his emotional growth. Tony highlights simple yet transformative tools, from conscious breathing and counting to 10, to reframing negative self-talk and improving sleep hygiene. Together, they walk through powerful strategies from the book Emotional Intelligence 2.0, blending them with personal experiences and coaching insights.
Whether you’re a high performer juggling stress or a leader seeking to model calm and composure, this episode is full of actionable wisdom. Discover why talking to a skilled self-manager, making your goals public, and focusing on your inner world are critical parts of the self-management journey.
You’ll walk away with practical steps to manage your emotions with integrity, build resilience, and show up as your best self—at work and in life.
Key Themes:
Why mastering self-management is the real emotional superpower. Explore how it goes beyond awareness—into the daily decisions that shape who you are under pressure.
A powerful story about losing control—and finding a better way. John opens up about one of his most ungrounded moments in corporate life, and how it became the catalyst for emotional growth.
How to pause before you snap. Simple but game-changing tools like intentional breathing, counting to 10, and choosing your response instead of reacting.
The voice in your head matters. Discover how changing your self-talk from “I never…” to “just this time” creates space for growth, compassion, and confidence.
You don’t have to figure it out alone. Learn why connecting with a coach or a skilled self-manager can help you see your blind spots and make better decisions.
Why going public with your goals boosts your follow-through. When you speak your dreams out loud, you create accountability—and a deeper commitment to becoming who you want to be.
Sleep isn’t just rest—it’s resilience. Find out how your internal world affects your sleep and why bedtime routines aren’t just about blackout curtains.
Shift from fear to freedom. Discover how to stop visualizing failure and start focusing on possibility, progress, and the rewards of showing up fully.
The difference a neutral mirror can make. How talking to someone with no emotional stake in your situation—like a coach—can reveal choices you didn’t know you had.
Self-management is a practice, not perfection. It’s not about never messing up—it’s about building the muscle to come back to your values, again and again.
What we discussed:
0:27 Emotional Intelligence Series: Self-Management
1:00 The Space Between Stimulus and Response
1:42 Building on Self-Awareness
2:25 Definition of Self-Management
2:45 Breathing and Meditation
3:09 Story of Early Career Struggles
5:06 The Impact of Company Culture
6:09 Learning from a Temper Tantrum
8:07 Strategies for Self-Management
9:33 The Importance of Coaching
10:06 Talking to a Skilled Self-Manager
11:09 Taking Control of Self-Talk
12:46 Avoiding Absolutes in Self-Talk
13:50 Replacing Judgmental Statements
15:03 Accepting Responsibility
16:17 Making Goals Public
18:43 Relationship Management Preview
19:05 Public Accountability
20:21 Doctoral Program Commitment
21:25 Sleep Hygiene and Emotional State
24:23 Inner Environment and Sleep
26:04 Meditation Before Sleep
27:09 Focusing on Freedoms, Not Limitations
28:03 Visualizing Success
30:17 Attention and Energy
31:12 The Role of Coaching in Self-Management
33:16 Objective Perspectives
34:01 Final Thoughts on Self-Management
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